By Dr. Lindsey Tubaugh – September 13, 2021
This morning, on my commute to work, I was giggling about a situation that happened while cleaning out and renovating the clinic space prior to opening. (As a side note, not only do I sing songs emotionally and unashamedly while driving, I also uncontrollably laugh at memories or jokes that randomly pop into my mind. If you see me doing one of these things as you speed past me, just drive on by folks.) After my lighthearted chuckle, I suddenly realized how the experience so aptly parallels to those struggling with processing disorders, tinnitus and/or sound sensitivities, so decided to make it the topic of this week’s post.
One day, I had arrived at the clinic a few hours prior to Dr. JJ and was hoping to work on what is now the “ABR room”. While adorable now with its Pottery Barn rocking chair and cozy blankets, it was, at the time, a disaster full of old files, trash, and boxes.
The problem was, while I came in with all the enthusiasm and energy in the world to tackle that project, the door was locked.
In the moment I discovered it was locked I was not super concerned because we had inherited a drawer full of random keys for which we had yet to find the purpose.
It would make sense that one of those keys would be destined for that lock. So, I accepted the challenge with an eager energy, realizing I would be tackling two things at once: opening the door to the messy cave (i.e. the now beautiful and cozy ABR room with dimmable lights and adorable baby décor) and finding the key that matches that lock!
Turns out- none of those keys worked in that lock. As anyone with even an ounce of Scottish blood in them like myself can relate, the very first thing I wanted to do was bust that door down and add a few expletives in for good measure. I knew, however, that despite how great it would feel to take a sledgehammer to that door to alleviate my now ever-growing frustration, I could not do that. Now I needed to waste my time, energy, and motivation to simply figure out how to even get into the room I was previously so excited about working on.
I then did what most people my age with a tiny computer in their pocket does—I googled how to unlock a door.
While google was ripe with information on how to unlock the door (yikes), I also didn’t want to “waste time” or money driving 5 minutes to the hardware store to buy the readily available kit you see criminals and superheroes alike using to break into or out of locked doors on a near daily basis. And truth be told, YouTube makes it look incredibly simple.
But surely in this clinic full of random hearing aid and other tools, I could produce tools that would work just as well to decode that lock and pop that door open.
What ensued was a slightly embarrassing display of me frantically working with tools not meant for the job (e.g. dental picks, hearing aid cleaners, and paper clips) to unsuccessfully open the door while continuing to get angrier. Pretty sure I even threw a miniature flathead down the hallway at one point. Why does it look so easy when Black Widow does it?! I mean, surely, I’m just as capable as her, right!?
Eventually my husband and kids came, watched the videos, and tried their hand at helping me. They also had no luck. I was the epitome of frustration at the wasted time and energy when just an hour prior I was enthusiastic and excited about accomplishing a vision I had for that space.
About that time, Dr. JJ came waltzing into the clinic without a care in the world . . . and I love the guy but was not ready for what happened next.
“Huh”, he said. “Let me try.”
“Fine–but you won’t get it to work, it’s impossible” was my childish sounding response.
“Oh, I’ll figure it out. Why don’t you just relax.”
You know when you are super angry and wanting to curse the world and someone tells you to relax? It does not always end pretty for people who say that to me in those moments.
And yet, before I could even get a reply out of my mouth, Dr. JJ had that door open. I couldn’t decide if I was more relieved and thankful for his heroism or wanted to cry out of frustration that what I’d been working on for an hour without even an inkling of result was resolved in—and I’m not exaggerating here—10 seconds.
How did he open that door you ask?
With a business card.
Not even a credit card.
A business card!
He approached the problem a whole different way than I did. He didn’t try to pick the lock and Dean Winchester the door open (extra kudos if you understand that reference), he skillfully just snapped that door right open.
I honestly laugh about it now but at the time I was literally crying with frustration, and I’ll never forget Dr. JJ’s breezy way of walking into the clinic and fixing so quickly and easily the problem by using an approach I hadn’t even thought of.
So, while the anecdote is silly, it hit me this morning how much this situation parallels to the problems our patients face every day.
Dr. JJ specializes in auditory processing differences, and I specialize in coping with tinnitus and sound sensitivities (hyperacusis and misophonia).
For our patients, what comes easily and naturally to some people can take so much extra frustrating and tiring effort. To work so hard to do something that all the information around you says should be “simple” and “quick” is incredibly hard on the heart and mind.
Thankfully, sometimes we find out the problem wasn’t the lock (or the processing difference) but the approach we have been using to try to take care of it. Sometimes, even if we are determined to figure out the problem on our own because, in our hearts, we KNOW we can do it ourselves, we need a Dr. JJ to fly into our lives with all the right tools to show us a different “how”.
I can honestly say I will never approach a locked door the same way. Not to say I won’t still buy the kit for unlocking a locked door, but I will ALWAYS try the credit card tip first. Maybe I’ll even be as cool as Dr. JJ and see if a business card works first.
Despite living in a world where copious amounts of information on any subject is literally at our fingertips—sometimes that isn’t enough and can even get in our way. And while we could maybe find the solution and the one thing that works for us through sheer willpower, we could also just find someone to teach us what they knew all along—the easier way.
That’s exactly what Dr. JJ and I have set out to do. Help kids (and adults) learn the skills to tackle things they must work on a little harder than their peers so they can then become the Black Widow, James Bond, and Dean Winchester of their own lives.
And then perhaps when they have mastered these techniques, they can show those around them they see struggling a new way to approach their problems differently.
After all, if all of us become superheroes, we are all going to be all right. All we ever needed was the right key.
Communication Strategies for Auditory Processing Disorders
Got Wax? That’s Totally Normal!
You’re Not Alone, It’s Not In Your Head
Auditory Hallucinations: Did I Just Hear That?
Listening Therapy – What Is It and Who Needs It?
With Great Responsibility Comes Great Power
Managing Use of Hearing Technology in Children
There Is Help: Hopelessness is Unacceptable
