In 2013 I received a terrifying diagnosis of a disorder called Trigeminal Neuralgia (also known as tic douloureux and “the suicide disease” because of its devastating prognosis, intense physical and emotional pain that accompanies it, and high suicide rates associated with it).
It was a dark and depressing time in my life. After multiple visits with various medical specialists, medications that helped extraordinarily little while also causing horrific side-effects, and the recommendation of brain surgery looming, I felt the loss of hope creeping in.
I distinctly remember one appointment with my neurologist like it was yesterday. He asked if my medicine was helping, and when I replied that it helped a little but I was still in excruciating pain, he replied “that’s probably as good as it will ever get so you should probably get used to it.”
My parents drove me to and from work for two weeks as I was too dizzy from the side effects of the medication to drive and yet despite the pain, I refused to quit working. I have been called “stubborn” in the past, but deep down inside, I just could not let myself give up until I had exhausted every option.
Worse than the diagnosis, the lack of empathy from medical providers, and pathetic medical treatments I was offered for this disorder, was the devastating loss of hope.
However, around the time I was truly ready to give up on hope, I heard of a book titled “What Time Tuesday”. To this day, I feel this is what quite literally saved my life. The irony was I didn’t even read the book—just the summary! However, it gave me hope again and led me down a path to my own healing.
This post is not about Trigeminal Neuralgia. This post is about HOPE.
I work with those who have often been told by (well-meaning but misinformed) family, therapists, and physicians that their diagnosis of tinnitus is not treatable, there are few effective treatment options, and/or they will just need to learn to live with the way things are.
They are wrong.
Therapies involving the brain and its connection to symptoms our body has, as well as its ability to at times reverse symptoms and conditions, continue to prove how powerful and magnificent our bodies and brains truly are.
I now find hopelessness as unacceptable. In the world we live in today, there is always hope for recovery. It may not look the way you think (my recovery involved hypnosis, EFT tapping, sensory deprivation tanks, and a specialty type of chiropractic care that I first thought was an elaborate hoax—story for a different day) but we should always keep hope.
When we lose hope, we lose purpose. And I stand firm in my belief that we are all here for a reason. We all have a reason to go on, a reason for staying on this planet. It is the reason for my semi-colon tattoo. My story will go on.
My purpose, you ask? I feel the experiences I have had in the first half of my life have led me to bring hope to those who have been told things such as:
There is no cure
There is very little that can be done
This is as good as it gets
Just learn to live with it
Others have it worse than you so be thankful
Just stop thinking about it
It is all in your head
It is just stress
You are just looking for attention
It is because of this that I have now devoted my career to helping those with Misophonia, Hyperacusis, and debilitating tinnitus. The above list is likely similar to things many have heard.
It is also why I am developing research backed programs to help those with these disorders.
I will be publishing a book by the end of the year for those looking for self-guided treatments for these disorders.
I am also developing a course that can be completed in the home for those (both children and adult) who prefer an online/at home platform for treatment and I anticipate its availability early next year, if not sooner.
This is of course in addition to the virtual and in-person treatments I offer for those in Utah through our clinic.
So whether you or your child has been diagnosed with peripheral hearing loss, Auditory Processing Disorder, abnormal sound sensitivity, or anything else–if you are feeling hopelessness start to make its way into your thoughts, know this: I am dedicated to helping restore hope and mental health into your life. It is my passion and my mission. I am here for you on every step of your journey back to hope.
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